I played basketball in high school and at one point in my early twenties was so in love with weight training. I really found some poetry in it, honestly. If it had been even in existence in my youth I would have loved to have played women’s hockey. (My uncle had played pro hockey and that just seemed like such a dream game). So while I haven’t been into sports for a very long time, I still get why people are into them.

We recently watched Quirke on Kanopy (free with your library card). And it’s probably something I wouldn’t have ordinarily tuned into but we cancelled all our streaming services ages ago to save money, as one does these days, and once in a while just need to zone out and watch something. It turns out Quirke was based on the novels by John Banville — he writes his crime novels under the name Benjamin Black. And so I came across (on wikipedia) a quotation by Banville that I have been pondering:

“His typical writing day begins with a drive from his home in Dublin to his office by the river. He writes from 9 a.m. until lunch. He then dines on bread, cheese and tea and resumes working until 6 p.m., at which time he returns home. He writes on two desks at right angles to each other, one facing a wall and the other facing a window through which he has no view and never cleans. He advises against young writers approaching him for advice: “I remind them as gently as I can, that they are on their own, with no help available anywhere.” He has compared writing to the life of an athlete: “It’s asking an awful lot of one's self. Every day you have to do your absolute best — it's a bit like being a sportsman. You have to perform at the absolute top of your game, six, seven, eight hours a day — that's very, very wearing.”

The trouble with the picture Banville paints, is that most writers have to also squeeze in a job or two, family, cleaning the house, making dinner, etc. But I still think he’s correct about thinking about your writing as an athlete would training. The trick is to never let yourself go, keep your focus. Keep the writing muscle in good shape. Do your drills, watch the game videos, learn, learn, learn. Push yourself. Don’t get distracted. Of course for writers, this translates maybe to: read voraciously but choose carefully, (read like a writer), write something every day, do your warm-ups, open your file. Actually write. Don’t talk about it endlessly, don’t just wish you were writing, don’t talk about how you wish you had more time to write. Don’t squander your time. Don’t squander your soul, your energy, your words, your dreaming. Don’t go to writing retreats to meet other writers. Don’t bother with courses, or visits to the writer in residence, don’t ask for advice — no one knows what the fuck they are doing really anyway because each book is a whole new thing. Get alone, and get cool with that. Also, find your people, find your community, but do not waste your (or their) time.

Obviously, don’t listen at ALL to what I’m saying here. Make your own training regime — only you can do that. If you’re rejected, get okay with that too. Be graceful. When you don’t agree with the criticism, that’s great! Use that energy to write more. Write better. Be very hard on your writing; be excessively gentle. If you get jealous of other writers, own that, use that, then put it away because it will harm you. If someone else is writing a thing that you wish you were writing, do it with your own spin, or write something else, better than what you were going to write. Just. Be. Relentless.

I’m quite serious about all of the above, and also, not at all. I mean, I AM serious about being in training, always. But no one can tell you how to be a writer, not really. You have to do the work of figuring that out yourself — it will stick better that way.

Ages ago I wrote a post about one’s enthusiasm waning, and began with the best advice I’ve ever received (and received it by reading a book). Here it is again:

“Work, work!...Work! Don't waste a moment...Calm yourself, quiet yourself, master your senses. Work, work! Just dress in old clothes, eat simple food...feign ignorance, appear inarticulate. This is most economical with energy, yet effective.”

– 7th Century Chinese Chan Buddhist master Hongren

The one thing I always get my hackles up about is when people call me prolific, in any area. I’ve heard it my entire writing life. But the truth ongoingly is that the more creative you are the more creative you are. The natural state of the creative person is to be overflowing. When you are not, then your life is not burning well, as Leonard said. How can you fix that? Figure that out too. Figure out your writing life as you would figure out the next move of a character in your novel or the next subject for your poem.

I’m not the world’s greatest writer. I’m not the world’s greatest photographer. I’m one of the fakes on all counts. But I have a passion, like a real goddamned need to do this shit. I can’t not. So I just do it. Sure I’m filled with doubts and there have been a steady stream of disappointments. Luckily I’ve always liked making things more than sitting there and worrying about my lack of fame or whatever.

I came across a line by Donovan Woods one day on the instagram. He says, “I sing myself into a person I can love.” To paraphrase Bruce, you just have to take everything you’ve got and turn it into something someone could love. Become someone you yourself could love through your art. Write the thing that you would love to read.

All of that said, the stack of books you see in the photographs for this post is part of my spring training. I have so far read two of them — Sempre Susan: A Memoir of Susan Sontag and The Vulnerables — both by Sigrid Nunez. Like, why did I not know about Nunez before? Both of these reads I have found to be pretty life changing! I read The Vulnerables first because my friend Lee said I would like it, and that it reminded her of me the whole time she read it. Honestly, people are always telling me about a book they think I would like and very rarely do I like them. But my friend Lee always gets it right, so I read it almost immediately. It’s already, after only one reading, (there will be more) completely dog-eared and underlined. (More on them in a future post).

I often think about how people find books, being a longtime library worker. And then I think about how I find out about books, and then decide to read them. My favourite way of finding the perfect book at the perfect time is to have a friend who really knows me say, this, this is the book for you, trust me.

Interestingly, another of the titles by Nunez in the stack is What Are you Going Through, which is the central line from Simone Weil in my book Rumi and the Red Handbag. I’m looking forward to reading this one soon. Perhaps finding your books is even more important than finding your people. Though of course, your people are important.

So in short, read a lot. Hide. Conserve your energy. Work!

Lastly, to the business of writing. I’m continuing to update my author website with links to conversations, interviews, reviews, etc. here. Honestly, it’s more and more difficult to get one’s small press book noticed once it’s out there in the world. Apples on a Windowsill came out in the “Winter” season of the book biz. And guess, what it is now the spring season for book publication. In other words, we have moved on. But also, books are not like a loaf of bread which has an expiry date; it will not grow mould. (Hopefully). If you read it and enjoyed it, please tell a friend :) Thank you!

March 22, 2024