These last nearly two years have certainly had some trail detours, and so the photo I took before the holidays has really stuck with me. You’ll notice that some people have passed the sign and gone on the trail in spite of the signage. Which seems pretty symbolic for our present moment yes?

If you’re a long time TwB reader, you know my obsession with the book by Anne Bogart titled What’s the Story, which is about the theatre, but also, just about anywhere in the book, you can replace the word theatre with “life.” And so I’ve been just going back and forth between the Bogart book and the recent On Being interview that Krista Tippett does with Jane Hirshfield. (Which a number of you have sent me in the back channels! And I love that because obviously, you know me, and knew how much it would speak to me. And when you say it reminded you of me, well, wow, thank you!).

Let’s start with Anne Bogart though. She talks about how “the way a group thinks together matters.” And as I said, this is about theatre, but could be about any organization, or group, in a certain way. (This is written way pre-pandemic of course, too). She says,

“We assemble in the context of the theatre to ask the following questions: What kind of life and social system have we inherited? What are the myths that we have received? How are we getting along as a society? How are we getting along in this room? How might we get along better? Can we identify with the conflicts happening on stage? Can I have empathy if I do not identify? Can I cultivate empathy? Are there alternative actions that I can take in my life?”

And she goes on: “The thinking-things-through process is an act of individual and collective digestion that requires time, absorption, and assimilation.” She talks about this method of collectively working things out vs gossip (which is also a useful thing when it’s not used negatively). She says that “hearing things through the grapevine is necessary to figuring out how to negotiate the world.” But because gossip is “unprocessed” it’s still useful to have this other avenue for figuring out the negotiations— “thinking-things-through-together is vital to the development of a society.” There is a juxtaposition between information and intel gathered through gossip vs the “big ideas” that can come out of a group session where things are collectively thought through.

So then right after reading this, I’m having a long bath in the afternoon on my day off from the day job almost as a joke because you know “self-care” and all that. (I’m so brittle these days I thought I might actually disintegrate in the bath…but I didn’t). And I’m listening to Jane Hirshfield, who I’ve been reading for years, of course, everything by her. And Krista Tippett, who as you know, I’ve long been a big fan of her, too. And in the introduction we hear this, Krista quotes JH:

“It’s my nature to question, to look at the opposite side. I believe that the best writing also does this … It tells us that where there is sorrow, there will be joy; where there is joy, there will be sorrow … The acknowledgement of the fully complex scope of being is why good art thrills … Acknowledging the fullness of things,” she insists, “is our human task.”

And then the conversation begins with JH:

“I have been given this existence, these years on this Earth, to accept what has come into my lifetime — wars, loves, trucks, betrayals, kindness. I must take them. I must find a way to live in this world. You can’t refuse it. And along with the difficult is the radiant, the beautiful, the intimacy with which each one of us enters the life of all of us and figures out, what is our conversation? What is my responsibility? What must be suffered? What can be changed? How can I meet this in a way which both lets me open my eyes the next day and also, perhaps, if I’m lucky, can be of service?”

So I’m having my bubblebath, this little self-care ritual that is really just a drop in the bucket of self-care that we all need, but at least it’s something, and I’d been wondering about how one even goes about collectively or as a group thinking-things-through these day when we’re all so separate. And then one is dropped into this profound conversation courtesy of podcast technology and bath bubbles. So that even if it wasn’t group think, at least one feels part of a conversation, somewhat. It’s something, right? It’s something.

And then JH’s words are a bit of an answer. How we go about living in the fullness of the world when we’re all apart and gathering isn’t easy. You have to live everything, you can’t refuse it.

I suppose this is why I’m finding the act of blogging even more important than before. (And if you’re interested in doing same, please check out Kerry Clare’s Blog School). So back to the “trail detour” sign — in what directions have we gone that worked and which detours have not? Maybe we’re not gathering in rooms and having conversations in the old ways, but what are the new ways in which we can still engage? And maybe it’s just something to even start asking ourselves the question, what is our conversation? In a 2007 book, Speaking of Faith, Krista Tippett quotes St. Augustine who said, we keep speaking in order not to remain altogether silent. And she says that in her conversations she’s been able to fill her head with “many voices, elegant, wise, strange, full of dignity and grief and hope and grace. Together we find illuminating and edifying words and send them out to embolden work of clarifying, of healing. We speak because we have questions, not just answers, and our questions cleanse our answers and enliven our world.”

So if you’ve read, Everything Affects Everyone, you know how this all dovetails…..And then I had that marvellous conversation via email with Kerry Clare. Which has made me think that maybe there are yet other ways to think-things-through, hold conversations, be of service, be useful, keep speaking so that voices of dignity and elegance and grief can come through, figure out together how to navigate and negotiate this landscape that often seems to be changing before our eyes. Because putting up a sign that says, danger, and detour, are really just not enough.

January 13, 2022