Exhalation of the Spirit
I was not okay this past week. Maybe this was not uncommon.
You know, I had JUST been congratulating myself on feeling like myself again, even in amidst (gestures broadly) all of this when something triggered me. So anyway, instead of being able to use my two days in a row off for writing, I spent it trying to regain my equilibrium. Which generally I suppose I have done. Thank you Marcus Aurelius:
“When the force of circumstances causes you, in some sense, to lose your equilibrium, return to yourself with all speed, and never lose the rhythm for any longer than you must.”
I spent the last many years building myself a tool kit for such moments, and it helps. Added to that, my husband had very wonderfully and coincidentally just bought me (this is not a paid ad sadly) the Sage peppermint roll-on, which is soothing for me, a peppermint fan. Maybe it was less even the scent and the calming effect, and more the caring and the listening that it came with. So, you know, all’s well. ish.
It really helps to know you’re not alone in “pickling in your own cortisol.” (A phrase from Arwa Mahdawi that I’ll be quoting for some time). To get back to my equilibrium, it will be no surprise to you that I turned to books, starting with Deb Dana’s book on befriending your nervous system and using polyvagal theory, titled, Anchoring. If you inhabit a high cortisol-inducing space on the regular you might find this book useful, too. She talks about the anchor as a way to visualize how we might regulate ourselves and those around us in “the midst of challenges to our sense of equilibrium.”
In between reading various things, I also engaged in asemic writing, which I find soothing. I’ll post some photos one of these days on my insta of my recent asemic pages, but here is a post I wrote a while back.
A go-to book for me in trying times is Rilke’s Letters on Life. It had been a while since I re-read the intro to the book and I like that it reinforces Rilke’s feeling that beauty “dwells and is awake in each thing” even in the unpleasing. More important is truth and integrity. Honesty. It’s in the contours of our difficulties, in our life in this world, that we will find resonance.
I moved on to some poems I needed to hear and which I’ve quoted before in this space:
Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks):
“A voice that calms, movements that calm,
eyes that quiet – dreams that also do the
same, and enliven too...
Be a precious donor of peace and hope.
Give love to all you meet,
for so many in this world are being torn
apart.”
Another Rumi poem I’ve quoted before:
Things are Such
Things are such, that someone lifting a cup,
or watching the rain, petting a dog,
or singing, just singing – could be doing as
much for this universe as anyone.
I don’t say a lot in this space about what’s going on in the news and I know that some people would take me to task for it. But I do feel like I get my news from chosen sources and I assume you do as well. Also, I’m Canadian and most of my readers are not. So what advice could I possibly give for those who are living in greater extremes? However, I’m not smug because we all know that the world is under the influence of billionaires and dictators. And there are extreme characters where I live, too.
But I do know that we can’t go out and do good until we have sorted our equilibrium. So that’s one thing we can do for each other. Be the donor of peace and hope. Pour someone a cup of tea. Listen. Sing. Pet a dog.
I love Karen Walrond’s advice this week in her Make Light Journal where she advises us to do one little thing. She reminds us of this clip from A Bug’s Life, a movie we quote from a lot in this household.
One other thing I did for myself was to work on my sacred space which is something I take from Joseph Campbell. Because the thing is, if I’m not in a good way, I’m going to have trouble going to do my work with a whole heart, which I gotta say is part of the job of working at an inner city library, at least aspirationally, for me personally.
Campbell says:
“To live in a sacred space
is to live in a symbolic environment
where spiritual life is possible,
where everything around you
speaks of exhalation of spirit.”
It seems another lifetime ago I wrote a post titled Sensible Advice, where I noted that we take somewhere around 22000 breaths a day. Please take care of your breathing, yourself, each other. Connect with others. Guard your equilibrium. Try to dwell a little in a sacred space of your own making, or in nature. Pet a dog. Or a cat. Be well. I beseech you.
