Magical Pink Flower
What do I know about raising children, for haven't I raised a pink flower?
We were laughing the other day because I was remembering having a conversation with Chloe as a young child, expressing my worry that she was watching too much TV, too many cartoons. And I said to her, the only way I wasn't going to feel like a terrible mother was if she grew up and became an animator. Well. (For those of you new to this blog, she's going to college to study animation this September).
At any rate, I certainly wasn't the perfect mother, and we really have always just muddled through the best we can. I made a zillion mistakes and there are lots of stuff I would like a do-over on. We did some stuff okay though. We read to her for hours a day until she could read herself. We were swimming in books, always.
We consciously decided to always speak to her as we'd like her to speak to us. That seemed to work. (Not saying we'd get a hundred percent on that test either, but we tried). I often hear parents speaking to their kids in such condescending, lecturing tones. And then they wonder why the child speaks back to them in a similar tone.
But here are my two big pearls of wisdom for those of you with younger kids. I found the following quotation on Pinterest, but it really says what I have always felt:
““Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.” ”
I know parenting is trickier than "read them a million books and talk to them like they're magical" but, honestly, it's not a bad start.
The minute I read the following lines by Hafiz, I knew they also had to do with the work of parenting:
I wish I could show you,
when you are lonely or in darkness,
the Astonishing Light
of your own Being!
This one, in particular, is useful in the darker parts of teenage-hood.
As always and in all things, we teach mainly by example. "What you wish to ignite in others must first burn within yourself," says Augustine. As parents, we are obligated to shine brightly, yes, and to remember that we are also "required to make something beautiful."
